I don't like cell phones.
Originally, this blog was going to be titled "The top one billion reasons to hate cell phones," with daily entries chronicling every time I got pissed off at someone and their infernal ringing box during the movies, or in a class, or the library, or anywhere else. It just seemed a little too bitter though, so I decided to broaden the blog's scope, instead with only periodic entries chronicling cell phone annoyances.
Anyway. Today in business ethics, a contemporary philosophy class monday and thursday morning (830-10am, the professor faced a tough decision. See, at the beginning of the year she announced a no cell phone policy (I was joyous), and stated that anyone whose cell went off in class would be asked to leave for the remainder of that class. Bus alas, the sound of cell phones is difficult to locate, so what of any student who refuses to reveal his/her identity upon the ringing of the phone? Prof said that if that occured, SHE would leave the class for the remainder, leaving everyone to 'thank' the one person whose cell went off. Brilliant!
Or so I thought. Who could be such an arrogant asshole as to not only leave one's cell on, but cut short the entire class on account of being so downright evil as to refuse to take responsibility??? WHO, I SAY????
why... only a CELL PHONE OWNER could do such a thing! Hence the rub. Today a phone went off, and nobody fessed up. Prof said the guilty person had 10 seconds to admit fault, and we all knew the general area of the class where it went off. After about 5 seconds I said aloud "could you all please just check your phones?" they all looked at me blankly, with guilty faces, as though each individual knew "it could have been me"... Professor looks me in the face, and I say aloud "I don't own a cell phone. Even if I did, I wouldn't being it to class." I glared at everybody. Five more seconds pass. Nobody confesses, and prof picks up her stuff and walks out of, right in the middle of an informative lecture on Aristotle's ethics.
This course costs roughly 500 bucks to take. And in all fairness, I think the professor made too heavy an assertion in the first place, and was forced into doing something that was clearly not for the good of the class. But on the OTHER HAND, I can't help but be really god damn pissed off at everyone in the world who brings their cell phone places where it is not only useless, but wholly irritating to everyone else.
I'm told that you NEED a cell phone. Life would be impossible without it. How can this be so?? As follows, the typical cell phone conversation, as heard by anyone nearby.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Breaking the library's silence, a sudden and annoying ring, followed by person scrambling through all the shit in their bag to find it, finally answering it after about 20 seconds)
Hello?
...
Oh hey, like what's up?
...
yea totally, I'm in the library right now. I totally stayed up till like 3 in the morning, so i'm soooo tired. And I have like 5 classes today.
...
Was he there? I totally don't remember that! Oh my god, you totally should have said something about that other time!
...
yea.. for sure. hey I gotta go, i have like so much work to do.
...
see ya!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have a land line. People leave me messages, and I call back. I call people from home, and occasionally from a payphone. No pissing off others, no leash, no contribution to the cultural wasteland that is North America, and no brain cancer.
Cheers to all!
Note: a few cell phone owners are not evil. Those who turn it off when not needed or wanted, and who do not use it rudely, deserve a noted exception, despite that they constitute a small minority.
Anyway. Today in business ethics, a contemporary philosophy class monday and thursday morning (830-10am, the professor faced a tough decision. See, at the beginning of the year she announced a no cell phone policy (I was joyous), and stated that anyone whose cell went off in class would be asked to leave for the remainder of that class. Bus alas, the sound of cell phones is difficult to locate, so what of any student who refuses to reveal his/her identity upon the ringing of the phone? Prof said that if that occured, SHE would leave the class for the remainder, leaving everyone to 'thank' the one person whose cell went off. Brilliant!
Or so I thought. Who could be such an arrogant asshole as to not only leave one's cell on, but cut short the entire class on account of being so downright evil as to refuse to take responsibility??? WHO, I SAY????
why... only a CELL PHONE OWNER could do such a thing! Hence the rub. Today a phone went off, and nobody fessed up. Prof said the guilty person had 10 seconds to admit fault, and we all knew the general area of the class where it went off. After about 5 seconds I said aloud "could you all please just check your phones?" they all looked at me blankly, with guilty faces, as though each individual knew "it could have been me"... Professor looks me in the face, and I say aloud "I don't own a cell phone. Even if I did, I wouldn't being it to class." I glared at everybody. Five more seconds pass. Nobody confesses, and prof picks up her stuff and walks out of, right in the middle of an informative lecture on Aristotle's ethics.
This course costs roughly 500 bucks to take. And in all fairness, I think the professor made too heavy an assertion in the first place, and was forced into doing something that was clearly not for the good of the class. But on the OTHER HAND, I can't help but be really god damn pissed off at everyone in the world who brings their cell phone places where it is not only useless, but wholly irritating to everyone else.
I'm told that you NEED a cell phone. Life would be impossible without it. How can this be so?? As follows, the typical cell phone conversation, as heard by anyone nearby.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Breaking the library's silence, a sudden and annoying ring, followed by person scrambling through all the shit in their bag to find it, finally answering it after about 20 seconds)
Hello?
...
Oh hey, like what's up?
...
yea totally, I'm in the library right now. I totally stayed up till like 3 in the morning, so i'm soooo tired. And I have like 5 classes today.
...
Was he there? I totally don't remember that! Oh my god, you totally should have said something about that other time!
...
yea.. for sure. hey I gotta go, i have like so much work to do.
...
see ya!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have a land line. People leave me messages, and I call back. I call people from home, and occasionally from a payphone. No pissing off others, no leash, no contribution to the cultural wasteland that is North America, and no brain cancer.
Cheers to all!
Note: a few cell phone owners are not evil. Those who turn it off when not needed or wanted, and who do not use it rudely, deserve a noted exception, despite that they constitute a small minority.
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