Big Red Firetruck

So I'm just stepping out of the shower when shrieking alarms start ringing, in my fire detector /and/ in the ADT security dealy near the front door. I don't know the code for it, since, when my uncle left me in charge, I said I'd never be using the house alarm anyway. Had I known he had the added security feature of co-ordinating the fire alarm with the home alarm, I'd have done otherwise!

Yes, fire alarms mistake showers for fires, in spite of the fact that a shower is pretty much the opposite of a fire.

Anyway, after sharing some words with the ADT lady, then her supervisor, I was unable to convince them not to send the fire department to my house. "This is what happens when you remove all common sense from bureaucracy!", I exclaimed. "You don't need to raise your voice, sir," replied Brenda the supervisor. "Yes I do! There's alarms everywhere, I'm in my fucking towel, can't you just turn my alarm off and let me go have lunch?!?"

It went downhill from there, but I managed to convince them to stall them from calling the fire depart for another 30 seconds, while I found the fire department number myself. My plan was to preemptively call them off with a rational explanation of what's happened.

So I hang up the phone and call the Victoria Fire Department, which, of course, is CLOSED. So my options are to call emergency 911 to explain that there isn't an emergency, or let the fire department come. I decided to let them come, and instead to start calling to find my landlord's contact (in Arizona). I hear sirens. Do I keep trying to find my landlord, or do I put pants on?

Pants, of course.

So things got better from there. I apologized profusely to the firemen, who were very understanding, noting that this kind of call comprised the majority of their job. I got a hold of the pass code, finally, and phoned back ADT to reset the alarm. I even flirted with the girl on the phone; tried to convince her to move out to Victoria from her Calgary residence, touting the mild weather and the expediency of our fire services.

The best part of all this is that I had a childhood fantasy fulfilled (albeit belatedly) of having a real fire truck pull up to my house. The worst part, now I'm scared of having a hot shower ever again.

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