Day 86
It is odd, I get probably 5 comments every week about this site via email, but hardly any by the comment sections here. Friends and family comment, but only to me, and not to other readers.
Anyway. In lieu of time and energy (all being directed toward intellectual offerings of the school-legislated sort) I'll just mention that I finally shaved off the beard today. It was just an impulse, drawn from the inability of my electric trimmer to do any meaningful trimming. The batteries are old, and it got to the point that there was just too much beard for it to deal with. That, and I have a five bladed razor (a gift), so stunningly unnecessary that I felt compelled to try it out for the sake of novelty.
It feels weird to make a big appearance change. I really do look very different, at least a few years younger, and much less "intimidating" and "serious" as people say far too often.
When will the gillette insanity end? I googled the company name, and the first result is the name of this new razor, the "Fusion Power Phantom." It has three names, and none of them refer to razors, hair, or shaving in any way. Buy the special "hydra gel" accessory, and you have what they no longer call a shave, but a "shaving system." This is all from the website.
Could there be a six bladed razor? seven? ten? There must be a limit to the number of blades, shapes, batteries, soft spongy strips, buttons, and other bells & whistles that a company could attach to something with such a simple and singular function: facial hair removal. I keep thinking that the only technological object that has benefited so noticibly from countless bell and whistle-esque advancements is the airplane, or the jet. The modern cockpit is a wall of gauges, buttons, and knobs. Perhaps this is why Gilette has compared its razors with fighter jets so often in the commercials. If razors actualy flew at my face faster than the speed of sound, all this might just be necessary, right?
But they don't, so there has to be a severe limit on the technology. I mean, there just has to be. It cannot be infinite.
But then, we said the same thing about pizza ten years ago. It was 1997, the Macarena was on the radio, the Power Rangers were on TV, the "Gillette Mach 3" was the must-have razor, and 'stuffed crust' was the big new food invention of the generation courtesy of Pizza Hut. We all thought "This is it, the last thing that could possibly be done to a pizza. There are no more places to put cheese or toppings."
But we were wrong, so very wrong. They've been putting toppings in the crust (not just cheese), making layered crusts with toppings in the middle, turning pizzas into squares, bites, subs, sticks, bagels, pretzels, pockets, and any other cohesive shape they can think of. Some even come with dip.
Yes, pizza with dip. We accept this as a society. "This ranch dressing is delicious. Why wasn't there always dip?" we ask.
Pizza, in a sense, operates like a virus, invading other kinds of food with no regard for their original flavour. Why have cream cheese on your bagel when you can have pizza on it? Why have a BLT when you can put pizza on your sandwich instead? Why have boring old chicken cordon bleu when I could add some sauce and make it pizza chicken?. Soon instead of ham pizza, we'll have a pizza ham. Pizzurky dinner will reign on thanksgiving. The name of every item in the store may someday begin with "pizza".
The only bastion of hope against pizza is the meal of breakfast. But will this last? Will McDonalds introduce some sort of pizza McMuffin? Will Denny's roll out the Pizza Slam? All they'd really have to do is put what they're already serving on top of a crust and some tomato sauce. It may only be a matter of time.
I digress.
Perhaps future shavers will see us today the way we see our predecessors. In 10 more years we may look back on the mere five-bladed razor with contempt, and pity the souls of 2008 who were forced into using such an uncomfortable and barbaric shaving tool. Five blades only? Just one power strip? Only one kind of gel? "Those poor people, with such rough, irritated skin, unlike us! And how did they survive without pizza spheres, and pizza cake? Life must have been hard back then."
Anyway. In lieu of time and energy (all being directed toward intellectual offerings of the school-legislated sort) I'll just mention that I finally shaved off the beard today. It was just an impulse, drawn from the inability of my electric trimmer to do any meaningful trimming. The batteries are old, and it got to the point that there was just too much beard for it to deal with. That, and I have a five bladed razor (a gift), so stunningly unnecessary that I felt compelled to try it out for the sake of novelty.
It feels weird to make a big appearance change. I really do look very different, at least a few years younger, and much less "intimidating" and "serious" as people say far too often.
When will the gillette insanity end? I googled the company name, and the first result is the name of this new razor, the "Fusion Power Phantom." It has three names, and none of them refer to razors, hair, or shaving in any way. Buy the special "hydra gel" accessory, and you have what they no longer call a shave, but a "shaving system." This is all from the website.
Could there be a six bladed razor? seven? ten? There must be a limit to the number of blades, shapes, batteries, soft spongy strips, buttons, and other bells & whistles that a company could attach to something with such a simple and singular function: facial hair removal. I keep thinking that the only technological object that has benefited so noticibly from countless bell and whistle-esque advancements is the airplane, or the jet. The modern cockpit is a wall of gauges, buttons, and knobs. Perhaps this is why Gilette has compared its razors with fighter jets so often in the commercials. If razors actualy flew at my face faster than the speed of sound, all this might just be necessary, right?
But they don't, so there has to be a severe limit on the technology. I mean, there just has to be. It cannot be infinite.
But then, we said the same thing about pizza ten years ago. It was 1997, the Macarena was on the radio, the Power Rangers were on TV, the "Gillette Mach 3" was the must-have razor, and 'stuffed crust' was the big new food invention of the generation courtesy of Pizza Hut. We all thought "This is it, the last thing that could possibly be done to a pizza. There are no more places to put cheese or toppings."
But we were wrong, so very wrong. They've been putting toppings in the crust (not just cheese), making layered crusts with toppings in the middle, turning pizzas into squares, bites, subs, sticks, bagels, pretzels, pockets, and any other cohesive shape they can think of. Some even come with dip.
Yes, pizza with dip. We accept this as a society. "This ranch dressing is delicious. Why wasn't there always dip?" we ask.
Pizza, in a sense, operates like a virus, invading other kinds of food with no regard for their original flavour. Why have cream cheese on your bagel when you can have pizza on it? Why have a BLT when you can put pizza on your sandwich instead? Why have boring old chicken cordon bleu when I could add some sauce and make it pizza chicken?. Soon instead of ham pizza, we'll have a pizza ham. Pizzurky dinner will reign on thanksgiving. The name of every item in the store may someday begin with "pizza".
The only bastion of hope against pizza is the meal of breakfast. But will this last? Will McDonalds introduce some sort of pizza McMuffin? Will Denny's roll out the Pizza Slam? All they'd really have to do is put what they're already serving on top of a crust and some tomato sauce. It may only be a matter of time.
I digress.
Perhaps future shavers will see us today the way we see our predecessors. In 10 more years we may look back on the mere five-bladed razor with contempt, and pity the souls of 2008 who were forced into using such an uncomfortable and barbaric shaving tool. Five blades only? Just one power strip? Only one kind of gel? "Those poor people, with such rough, irritated skin, unlike us! And how did they survive without pizza spheres, and pizza cake? Life must have been hard back then."
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