Day 155

Under the wire tonight for the blog! Today was fantastic... a full day with the family: parents, grandparents, aunt and uncles. Convocation was in the morning, followed by lunch, followed by a nice dinner out.

Though I finished all the degree requirements over a month ago, receiving the actual degree today brought a great deal of closure and triumph to the process. But, as I sat at dinner with two older generations of family at my sides, I pondered most deeply the notion that in good time I may be the grandfather watching my own grandchildren graduate from university. That time, I suspect, will approach much more quickly than most of us tend to fancy.

And over dinner tonight much of my long-held cynicism about marriage and children dissipated into meaninglessness. It occurred to me that all this idealizing a life of independence and freedom from the burdens of union and procreation is just talk from young mouths. My grandparents, and parents, value family above all, infinitely so. Their fulfillment comes from having those close ties, from raising children from infancy to adulthood and forging lifelong family relationships.

So independence, in the long run, becomes lonliness. I imagine myself a frail, weakening old man, alone with no children or grandchildren. That thought induces dread.

Call me a slightly changed man today. I look forward, in all sincerity, to (hopefully) creating a future in which I find a partner for life and have children of my own.

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