Day 185

Today's topic will be something I promised myself I'd never write on: personal lamentations about the opposite sex. It is the quintessential blog entry, made popular the point of absurdity by literally millions of utterly, shatteringly, achingly and painfully mundane people with their mundane issues and their mundane problems and their mundane lives.

Will mine be any different? Almost certainly not. Though, I offer it to you with the assurance that I don't expect you to find it the least bit interesting, or even read on. In fairness, this is my blog's 250th entry (including before the 'days' started), so I think I've earned a bit of mundanity, yes?

Show me one girl, just one, who is single, smart, attactive, emotionally available, genuinely happy, and doesn't have a swath of confounding issues (a.k.a. "drama") about ex's or family or friends or self-confidence or drugs or whatever other things that effectively ruin dating. Somebody please show me one within earshot, and I can work from there. Am I a greedy person? Is that so terribly much to ask of this world? I meet all sorts of women who appear to have all of these qualities, who, if you were to describe them after just a few dates, sound like the best catches a guy could ever reasonably ask for. I date them wondering what I did to deserve such fantastic luck. But then, inevitably, it all goes horribly wrong.

This is not to say I haven't been the problem more than a couple of times before. But still.

And God knows I really do try.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Does it hurt to be so retarded? Maybe you should retitle you're blog "I'm a douchebag" and go from there. You know, just because you can blog, doesn't mean you should. Ever heard of a notebook?
9:41 AM
Max said…
I have a hard time taking offence to anonymous insults online. They're too easy, too convenient, too cowardly. Look me straight in the eyes (or at the very least sign your name) and I'll care.

On the other side of that coin, the interesting, or kind, or insightful comments I receive are almost always signed, I suppose because those sorts of things people are proud to have their names next to.
10:56 AM
Anonymous said…
I think that perfection is something you will never find in a person. Even the most beautiful woman with book smarts can still hurt a little bit inside from time to time. It's a harsh world out there for woman. It is not enough that our physical bodies are constantly shot down in every article and photo shoot, but we are also supposed to carry the career...the house hold...the status of sexy but not be a whore or course...the strong..the weak...the motherly. And after we have babies we are considered undesirable due to a few strech marks. Walk one day in a womans menstrating shoe...and then tell me about your hard search for the perfect lady.

Even if and when you find something close to resembling your ideal, will you be happy? Will you not pick and find something to be concerned with, that makes her ordinary and undesirable?

..Good Luck on your search iron booger...I truely mean it
1:40 PM
Max said…
Thanks for that eloquent comment. It couldn't be more true, today's woman is in some sense 'expected' (by men?) to fulfill multiple and often contradictory roles within the workplace, the home, and of course in the realm of sexual identity.
But that said, women absolutely have to stop self-defining their roles in terms of the expectations and desires of men, just because that's what some men do; young women and girls need to stop this expecially. These multiple statuses spoken of are almost always understood as statuses created and enforced by men, but women are over half the population here, more than half the voting population, and closer to equal in terms of work and pay than ever before.

I'm not asking for anybody perfect (not 'asking' for anything, more hoping), but rather someone who doesn't have issues that arise to the point of appropriating dating or relationships altogether. I'd like to cultivate a dynamic in which solving pre-existing personal problems isn't a founding pillar - a trend peppered throughout my past, and the relationships of many others. But yes, we all have our insecurites, flaws, weaknesses, proclivities, and unfulfilled self-expectations; I realize that, and would never demand otherwise from any human being.

And to answer your question: No, I don't think I'll bring down a good thing if I find it. I've done that before, and hopefully will not again :)
2:50 PM
Anonymous said…
There are alot of good women out there that meet your criteria. You just seem to be the kind of guy that is at odds with the women. It isnt them, its you. That's what Ive heard.
9:18 PM
Anonymous said…
well thought out mr. booger. I can agree that woman have really found a more equal place in this world at present, well perhaps in this culture anyway. But there are leaps and bounds to go from here. I am so happy to be considered a person, truely. It exhausts me to know that men actually thought, and not in all cases, but still think of themselves as superior to that degree.

As for the way our culture is forcing woman to death to be skinny for example..yes that should stop. But should we not also stop it where it counts like in mag's,television and perhaps mass media in general.

Men and the mad potential for profit are making it popular in the first place.

Not all woman buy into this image as the ideal of course,but we show a little girl how a skinny tummy and scores of men mean success time and time again in the most impressional years. How can we possibly be expected to over come this message in the majority? And more importantly I suppose, how many years of our lives do we waste seeking this state before we wake up to the reality of it all and value ourselves?

I guess getting back to the original blog and my inspiration to take the time to comment is that sometimes we need to be valued even with a little crazy. We deal with enough already, do I really need another egoic male telling me I am a waste of time because I do not fufill yet another set of rules and expectations. That perhaps I am not pretty or intelligent enough to be found interesting and unique even worthy regardless of your intention to send that message or not.

It is easy to say stop caring now.. wake up! Let us just set back the clocks to a time when this problem didn't exist which was....?

lol..I am exhausted...
12:41 AM
Max said…
For the most part, agreed. I share your criticisms about how women - specifically successful women - are portrayed in the media as successful on account of their beauty, and not on account of their intelligence, hard work, and character. The most disturbing trend I see is this new kind of faux 'power role' that young women supposedly have over men using their sexuality. MTV is awful for this, characterizing the young woman as a sexual creature who's potential boils down to the number of heads she can turn. Note that this also turns girls on each other; I read a study a couple years ago stating that physical fights between teenage girls at high schools are on the rise quite dramatically in Canada.

This, combined with the constant portrayal of male success as equating to material wealth, physical power (whether it be cars, muscles, or weapons), and sexual conquest, is a very bad combination.

ALL these ideals are wrong and pernicious, regardless of what gender they are assigned to.

But I stand by my original post with a whole heart, and my previous comment intended to elucidate.
---
As for the other comment... who are you? Who told you? Why bother telling me? It seems so... incomplete. I'm open to criticism if it is brought forward as such, and not intended merely as insult; the comment appears to fall into the latter category.
1:25 AM
Anonymous said…
I'm just somebody you met along the way keeping up with my all hours of the night reading habit. I rarely ever comment.
3:33 AM
notorious vjp said…
I am sure you will someday find someone right for you, Jared, but I do think that with all those expectations, you're setting yourself up for disappointment, not because there aren't girls out there like that, and not because your expectations are too high, but more like, you never really know what you want until you get it. Goodness knows, with your track record, it could probably be argued sufficiently that you're attracted to the female mess, even though we both know you're not.

Point is, everyone has their drama. Even if you found a girl with zero of those qualities, that doesn't ensure that she won't develop some during the course of the rest of her life. It's all about finding a girl you care about so much that all that drama seems inconsequential to being together.

Whatever true love is, I'm positive that once you'll find it, you'll probably be surprised by the one with whom it's with. (:
10:54 PM
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