Day 190

Top ten funniest people on television:

10. Marc Dacascos a.k.a "The Chairman" (Iron Chef America)
It's hard to explain why, but you just have to see him say the 'secret ingredient' aloud, he always mispronounces the phonetics in a hilarious way.



Quotables: "Today's secret ingredient is.... toFU!"

On a side note... I was watching Brotherhood of the Wolf, and I noticed something:
So wait just one second, is this guy Asian (as inferred by his claim to be the nephew of the original Japanese Iron Chef Chairman), or Native, as inferred by the movie here? Turns out he's neither; the guy's Hawaiian.


9. Kent Brockman (The Simpsons)


Quotables:

"Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch."


8. Tom Tucker & Diane Simmons (Family Guy)


Quotables:

Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?
Diane Simmons (sighs): Ghostbusters, Tom.
Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.
---
Tom Tucker: Stay tuned for our special investigative report on the clitoris, "Nature's Rubik's Cube".

7. Dwight Schrute (The Office)



Quotables:


"What does the female vagina look like?"
---
"If I could menstruate, I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I’d just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus, I’d be more in tune with the moon and the tides."


6. Alan Shore (Boston Legal)


Quotables:

"Oh no, I never hug clients. I grope them occasionally but I never hug them."


5. Glen Quagmire (Family Guy)

Quotables: "So, you ladies ever been penetrated?"

4. Charles Montgomery Burns (The Simpsons)

Quotables:
"I don't like being outdoors Smithers, for one thing, there's too many fat children."
---
"What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?"
---
"Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you."

3. Denny Crane (Boston Legal)


Quotables:

"Denny Crane: Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Fee."
---
"You look upset. I can tell these things. I'm a people person."
---
"You're one of those environmental lawyers?...They're evildoers. Yesterday it's a tree, today it's a salmon, tomorrow it's, 'Let's not dig up Alaska for oil because it's too pretty.' Let me tell you something, I came out here to enjoy nature, don't talk to me about the environment."
---
"I got the mad cow. And my penis only works on medication."


2. Dr. Gregory House (House)

Quotables:

"Ah, the Socratic Method. The best way we have of teaching everything-apart from juggling chainsaws."
---
Dr. Wilson: Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.
Dr. Gregory House: And triteness kicks us in the nads.
---
"J'ever notice, how all the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa... can't think of any others, they all die alone? The men, on the other hand, get so much fuzz it's crazy."
---


1. Eric Cartman (South Park)


Quotables: There are just too many. Here's a good scene, courtesy of YouTube:





Comments

Anonymous said…
Good Stuff. Especially that Cartman clip.

I KNEW the Iron chef host was from Brotherhood of the Woolf!

I think I remember all the quotes posted here, but where did you manage to dig them up?
3:01 PM
Max said…
All you gotta do is google "Denny crane quotes" or "Eric Cartman quotes" etc.

Likewise, for the photos just go to google images and search the names.
3:46 PM
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