Michael Phelps apologized today for taking a bong hit. Of course, like all celebrities and politicians, the apology only ever follows the incident of getting caught red-handed. Just once, I'd so dearly like to see a public figure simply admit an offence that would otherwise have never been found out, and then apologize for it. That I can accept.

"I'm 23 years old, and despite the successes I have had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner that people have come to expect from me..." - Phelps

Who does Phelps owe an apology to? Who expects him not to take a few drugs and have a good time scoring babes by the dozen with his bucket full of gold medals (I sure as heck would)? Who wants him to be sorry? Who cares? And for God's sake the guy is younger than I am! If a 23-year-old can't be youthful and inappropriate, then what's the world come to?

The apology is to Nike, and all his other contractors. He's terribly sorry that he might just lose some of those multi-million-dollar contracts to have his face on cereal boxes and the asses of bathing suits around the world. Lucky for him, drugs are cheap, and the medals speak for themselves when it comes to the ladies. Let the guy have a good time, he earned it!

Comments

notorious vjp said…
there was an article in the globe and mail recently critizing president obama for needlessly admitting to trying cocaine when he was in college, and "many other things under the sun" in his youthful days. the writer thought it was "political suicide" and that "no one wants to know".

It sparked quite a controversy at my workplace, i'll tell you wot.
9:15 AM
Max said…
It's tough for a president, though. First, he made those admittances back when he was a senator in a book quite some time before he began his presidential campaign. So it wasn't exactly "President Obama" who admitted it. But the second thing is, for a person of such extremely high public profile, it's almost certain that past dirt will be found out either way. He may have simply been pre-empting the inevitable accusations. It certainly wan't needless. The previous president would have been well-advised to admit the very same thing (cocaine in college), instead of denying it amid 8 years of innuendo and mockery on the topic.
4:00 PM
Max said…
Come to think of it, Obama's support base is younger. I suspect that almost none of his supporters care whether he did drugs in college. If anything they'll like him even more. The only people who pretend to be outraged are those who never supported him to begin with (mostly old white people).

Oh and I got my facts wrong. Obama's book "Dreams of my father" with the 'confession' about cocaine, was published in 1995, while he was president of the Harvard Law Review, before he even entered politics. Factually it wasn't political suicide, as he's now, you know, President. I'm not sure what the Globe writer was thinking on that one...
8:07 PM
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