TOM
I've written about Tom before; he's the receptionist/liason/general stuff guy at the BCM office.
But here at Hwarang Elementary, there's a constant and raging debate as to whether Tom is a good guy, and as to whether we should or should not like and/or respect him. Jordan and I (and Ty, but he doesn't work at Hwarang; only at the BCM office) like Tom; we think he's a bit of a mopey sad sack, but that in the end he's a generally good guy who can be relied upon to get the job done. He's taken Jordan to the hospital, and helped me with several random affairs relating to my visa, banking, learning to work the water heater at my apartment, and online shopping the Korean websites. He even came out with the three of us once and stood by watchfully as we got completely drunk and stumbled around the neighbourhood karaoke bars.
The other foreign teachers here really, really dislike the guy. It's 7 to 2 here against Tom at the lunch table discussion. My coworkers have nothing but bad things to say about the guy, and for good reason; they have stopries of Tom completely screwing up hospital visits (i.e. forgetting to book appointments), blowing off meetings, taking way too long to help out with things, and ignoring phone calls and requests. The one girl who works here, Jes, even tells me that Tom's made a decidedly sexist remark to her (which in Korea isn't exactly a shock, but still!). It's like there are two Toms.
But then the question is; what do you do if your experiences with a person (say an acquaintence or coworker) have been positive, but the experience of others (who you respect) with said person have been negative? Should I change my opinion of Tom? He's always been good to me, but he seems to have been a jerk to others. I try to follow a philosophy of only judging people by way of my own experience with them; forming opinions from water-cooler gossip, even that of friends, can be dangerous. Hmmm.
And on a side note, it aggravates me when people say they don't judge others. How is that even possible? You have to judge people by their actions and beliefs and appearance in order to function as a member of society! How do you decide who (if anyone) to lend money to, or tell a secret to, or go into business with, or date, or have as a boss/employee, or marry, or have kids with, or even so much as to eat a sandwich from?
But here at Hwarang Elementary, there's a constant and raging debate as to whether Tom is a good guy, and as to whether we should or should not like and/or respect him. Jordan and I (and Ty, but he doesn't work at Hwarang; only at the BCM office) like Tom; we think he's a bit of a mopey sad sack, but that in the end he's a generally good guy who can be relied upon to get the job done. He's taken Jordan to the hospital, and helped me with several random affairs relating to my visa, banking, learning to work the water heater at my apartment, and online shopping the Korean websites. He even came out with the three of us once and stood by watchfully as we got completely drunk and stumbled around the neighbourhood karaoke bars.
The other foreign teachers here really, really dislike the guy. It's 7 to 2 here against Tom at the lunch table discussion. My coworkers have nothing but bad things to say about the guy, and for good reason; they have stopries of Tom completely screwing up hospital visits (i.e. forgetting to book appointments), blowing off meetings, taking way too long to help out with things, and ignoring phone calls and requests. The one girl who works here, Jes, even tells me that Tom's made a decidedly sexist remark to her (which in Korea isn't exactly a shock, but still!). It's like there are two Toms.
But then the question is; what do you do if your experiences with a person (say an acquaintence or coworker) have been positive, but the experience of others (who you respect) with said person have been negative? Should I change my opinion of Tom? He's always been good to me, but he seems to have been a jerk to others. I try to follow a philosophy of only judging people by way of my own experience with them; forming opinions from water-cooler gossip, even that of friends, can be dangerous. Hmmm.
And on a side note, it aggravates me when people say they don't judge others. How is that even possible? You have to judge people by their actions and beliefs and appearance in order to function as a member of society! How do you decide who (if anyone) to lend money to, or tell a secret to, or go into business with, or date, or have as a boss/employee, or marry, or have kids with, or even so much as to eat a sandwich from?
Comments
Tom has been extremely helpful to Ant, you, Jordan, and apparently Ty, also. But to me, it makes him an even bigger douche bag that he picks and chooses who to help and who not to help.
As for not judging, you're right. We humans judge others and ourselves fairly harshly. I try to keep my judgements on others limited to their behavior towards me and those I care about, and not their private lives, race, gender, etc. But, I am only human so I'm sure I've let others influence my opinion at times.